Jib (an assumed name), recalled that she had known her boyfriend since Grade 9, but on learning that he wasn’t as good as she thought, she began pulling away. However, when her mum noticed a change in her toilet habits, she took her daughter to a doctor, who confirmed she was four-months pregnant.

“Even though I got pregnant at the age of 16, I never thought of aborting the baby. Killing a little life to make my life better is bad,” she said, adding that she took good care of herself and browsed the Net for information on taking care of the baby.

“Some people think teenage girls who get pregnant and have to drop out of school are bad people. Actually, anyone can make a mistake and my pregnancy was not expected. I have learned my lesson and know I have to stay strong to overcome this problem.

“I want to ask people in society to not to defame those who make mistakes. People should not say things that can hurt a young mother’s feelings,” Jib said.

This young mum is lucky that she has understanding parents, who helped her overcome her problems. Her father said he did not get angry when he learnt of the pregnancy. He said he couldn’t leave her to face the challenge alone.

“I accepted what happened, helped her find a solution and gave her encouragement. We have to help her and consider her future. We also have to control our emotions because the child will already face immense stress from society,” he said.

“When such things happen, we can’t let our child feel abandoned. We understand that she was already embarrassed and we tried to get her to go out, so society could see that we were standing by her,” he said.

“We don’t want people to only see faults in others, but to be understanding and ready to help others.”

Jib said she has learnt many things, and the most important thing is that “nobody loves as unconditionally as our parents”.

Many people offer sweet words, like some boys, but they often want something in return, she explained.

Ning, another 17-year-old, said she began having sex with her boyfriend after dating for two to three months and learned she was two months pregnant at the age of 16. Ning, (also an assumed name), said she didn’t dare tell her mother until her mum noticed the bump a month later.

“My mum didn’t get too angry and did not rebuke me, but took me to a hospital for prenatal care.

“She also had me and my 21-year-old boyfriend get married,” she recalled.

“Before my mother found out, I was so stressed. However, her calm reaction made me feel so much better,” she said, adding that she stopped going to a vocational school for now so she can take care of the baby. But she plans to resume her classes soon.

“If you want to have sex, you need to protect yourself because if you get pregnant, or get a disease, it will destroy you. If the school is not understanding and expels you, then your future will be destroyed,” she advised other teens.

Difficulties of teen mums

1. Lack of preparedness and maturity to assume a parent’s role;

2. Depression from breaking up with a boyfriend and the burden of single motherhood;

3. Being expelled from school and lacking the opportunity to continue studying due to the lack of support to raise the baby;

4. Being forced to seek work due to insufficient income;

5. Being embarrassed and afraid of people gossiping about them;

6. Discouraged to continue studies at school as teen mums are considered a bad example for other students;

7. Young mothers tend to get pregnant for a second time within two years due to lack of birth-control and family planning knowledge.

Source: Ramathibodi Hospital’s Teenage Mum Clinic