IT IS CONSTANT heartbreak for the surrogate mother in the “Bring Carmen Home” case, because she sees herself as the mother of a girl she has no genetic connection with and whose legal custody is in the hands of the baby’s gay biological father.

“I have tried in vain to cut any [emotional] ties with this girl,” Patidta Kusolsang said yesterday during an interview with Nation TV. “I am worried for her because I feel I’m her mum.”

Gordon Lake, an American, fathered Carmen via a paid surrogacy service. While Patidta served as the surrogate mother, the egg came from another woman.

Since giving birth to Carmen and handing over the baby to Lake early last year, Patidta has refused to sign the papers required for the foreign father to take his daughter out of Thailand.

Patidta’s stance prompted Lake to wage the “Bring Carmen Home” campaign and a legal battle to win sole custody of the girl.

Lake and his legal partner, Spanish national Manuel Santos, have practically stayed put in Thailand – despite the risk of losing their jobs, and more, in Spain – since Carmen’s birth, because they refuse to leave her behind.

On Monday, the homosexual couple won a victory as the Central Juvenile and Family Court awarded sole custody of Carmen to Lake.

Patidta yesterday said she would consult her lawyer as to how to proceed further, because no matter how much she tried not to, she kept worrying about Carmen.

“I am a human. I feel attached to the baby I carried for nine months during the pregnancy. It’s hard to accept that I will not be able to see or hear from her,” the surrogate mother said, her voice shaking with emotion.

Patidta said that since Carmen’s birth, she had been able to see the baby just twice. She lamented that Lake should not be allowed to cut ties between her and Carmen.

“Why should I lose contact with my girl?” she said. “Which mother would agree to let her daughter live far away from her? Which mother would agree not to find out how her baby was doing?”

Patidta said she had never talked to Lake during the past several months, and she was not sure whether he was willing to negotiate.

“I don’t want his money. I just care about my daughter,” she stressed.

She also revealed that she was planning to write a book about being a surrogate mother, in order to remind other women that they should not just jump into surrogacy without first getting enough information. The court awarded sole custody of Carmen to Lake, recognising his care and love for the girl, who has lived with him since her birth. Custody is not shared between Lake and Patidta since they will eventually be living in different countries.

At present, there are 63 medical facilities in Thailand that provide assisted reproductive technology services like surrogacy. All of them, however, now operate in line with the new law governing such use of technology, which became effective last July.

According to the new law, surrogacy services can only be provided in the Kingdom to married heterosexual couples. At least one member of the couple must also be Thai in order to be able to request such services. The purchase of egg and sperm for such services is banned, with offenders facing up to 10 years in jail and a fine of Bt200,000.